What a Difference a Death Makes
by MissDelena
Summary: Elena relives the moments as she wakes from her death. She remembers things she shouldn't. One Shot. Elena POV. Set in season 2 episode 21 'The Sun Also Rises'


The burning inside rose and I gasped. The burning over powering now, but as my eyes flew open I let the air coat my lungs. I wasn't supposed to breath but yet here I was, breathing. My eyes focused on his face and my lungs pulled in the mature air, I was still breathing. I heard him say my name and then my eyes narrowed at Jeremy and Alaric stood behind him. He looked concerned and as his hand found my cheek I could only say his name in reply.

"Damon"

The ragged breaths broke through my body and I decided to look anywhere other than him as his fingers push through my hair. I see him. I feel him. He isnt knelt by me, but were stood. In my bedroom. The thoughts push through me and I get a rush of images and memories that Im not meant to remember. He is holding my necklace and he looks broken. His mouth opens and he speaks, but I dont make out the words. I'm thrown back to reality by his words.

"How do you feel?" He still looks broken and he is searching desperately for an answer. So I tell him what he wants to hear. My head nods and I find his eyes.

"I feel fine." I reply yet the images of him in my room, holding my necklace, talking without sound fill my head. He takes in a deep breath and I hear his relief wash over his expression. I look deep into his eyes and all I see is love. I don't feel angry and I don't feel sad and for a second or two all I can think about is his hand on my cheek. Then I remember. Jenna.

Panic fills my stomach and if I were alone I'd let my walls slip and probably vomit my feelings away, but all I can do is let my lungs bathe in the air I'm filling them with. He is stroking my hair now as Alaric leaves the room and almost runs to the door. I can't see that far, my eyes are still adjusting to the light and in all honesty my confusion is making my heart beat out of my chest. Why was my heart beating?

"Damon, why am I still human?" I asked him simply as my vision blurred again and he pulled me to his chest. My arms wrapped around his neck and as I closed my eyes my face relaxed from the confused expression I was making.

"John gave you his soul. He's gone." Blank though filled my head. This man, my father by name only had given his life to save mine. In this tiny moment I realised he loved me. My heart beat a little faster and light exploded behind my eyes and I saw him again. Damon, holding my necklace and moving slowly towards me.

"I brought you this..." He is holding up my necklace and his face gives a little smile. I can see it through my blurry eyes. I hear him. I feel him.

"I though that was gone." I hold out my hand for the necklace as he shakes his head. "Thank you." but he pulls his hand back and tilts his head. Why do I feel like my stomach is full of butterflies? "Please give it back!" he's now a few feet away from me and I can see his face clearly. I can smell his leather jacket under my nose and I squeeze my eyes shut tighter and my arms pull him closer willing this dream to play out.

"I just have to tell you something." he moves closer and he looks petrified.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"

"Because what i'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing i've ever said in my life" I'm willing him to speak more yet the memory of me is scared, I'm scared of his words. I can't bring myself to hear them, because I already know what he will say. I feel it from the way he looks at me. He's looking at me like that now. He looked that way when I woke from my death.

"Damon don't go there" such a weak response, I didn't mean it and again I felt the butterflies.

"I just have to say it once, you just have to hear it." he moves closer and i can see pain etched across his face. "I love you Elena and it's because I love you, that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this. I don't deserve, you but my brother does." his hand brushes against my cheek making my knees almost buckle but I don't move an inch. I beg for something, anything. But nothing comes. He simply kisses my head and pulls away. "God, I wish you didnt have to forget this but you do."

And then my eyes flutter open and I see my hands gripping onto his jacket. Jeremy looking on as Damon holds me tightly. His hand is stroking the dip in my back and the other is threaded in the back of my hair. I hear him sighing and in that moment I never want to let him go. Not now, not ever.

A few minutes pass and after embracing Jeremy everything becomes a blur. I'm panicking and all I want to do is pull him away and find out the truth. Him feeding me his blood disappears from my thoughts, I don't even care he did it anymore, I'm furious he made me forget, and that's all that's running through my head. Over and over again.

He thinks I'm still mad at him for the incident in his bedroom, if only he knew it was the incident in my room that was making my head throb, my eyes sting and my expression seem sour. My heart thumps heavy and I desperately want to cry. I'm so angry that I simply ignore him as I leave the room and end up in the arms of a concerned Stefan.

I'm numb and as I move towards the graves of my loved ones, everything blurs in slow motion. I'm panicking inside as nobody holds my hand, but as I look up, I see his face. And even though we haven't spoken for days I see his tiny smile and concerned eyes meet mine. Hes so perfect yet so un-perfect all at once. I let my tears fall from my eyes, my heart tightening with every glance I give him. I'm swallowing back the devistation that is coating my insides and all I can do now is let it fall freely from me. Why was I still so mad? Why did he look like his life was about to end?

All I know is this... what a difference a death makes.


End file.
